You know when you’re little spoon and sleeping with someone and you wake up a little and scoot your butt and back towards them and they just so happen to be awake too and pull you in closer and you fall back asleep? Yeah. That.This is my favorite thing in the whole world.
The very best.
when i’m watching sports i have no clue about and people start cheering
*passive aggressive mom dramatically putting away dishes and denying help*
Mom, are you sure you don’t want any help?
no I don’t need any help I can do it all by myself just like I do everything in this house, by myself…..
"suck my dick"
"nah sorry i have a shrimp allergy"